your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
