Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
