btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Shame - the story of my life.
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