You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
sex in a hospital.. check
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
