I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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