Do you still have your period?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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