Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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