At least make sure they are 18
Why
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
