And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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