U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
