I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
