please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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