dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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