hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
