i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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