would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
