I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
