You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
