508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
