Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
