Small penises have feelings too.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
