I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
