i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
