well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
