She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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