Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
