i already hear my dad disowning me
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
