Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
