Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
