They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
