Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
