You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
