Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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