I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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