it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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