So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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