I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
