i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
