We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I need to align my fucking chakras
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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