i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
