they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
