Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Every concussion has its silver lining
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
