i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
