Porn is love you can see.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
This house was built for laser tag.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
