I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
