when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
