im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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