How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
