if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
