I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
What a dumb baby whore.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
