Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
