Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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