I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize