My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
