You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
