she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize