her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
