Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
