So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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