so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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