so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
