you're like a bully in the Christmas story
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
