I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
